I am sending you this letter to pass on some advice that I have learned along the way. I hope some of this will sink into that brain of yours so the same bad
mistakes choices are not made.
At this time you are 10 younger, 32 years old, with 2 kids and going thru a divorce from husband #1. You didn’t know what you were going to do, all you knew at that point was you were so incredibly unhappy and felt like you were raising 2 daughters and a husband. You can handle raising 2 daughters, but the “raising a husband” not so much. Here is a little advice that I hope you remember while going thru the tough times ahead.
LISTEN to your heart. Just because you feel like you are doing the right thing for your children doesn’t always make it the right thing.
Love your kids more than you hate your husband during the divorce. Your kids will thank you as they get older. They will be the only kids in school that can say “My daddy lives with me, my sister, my mommy and my step dad”. That’s a whole ‘nuther post.
Live a little, laugh a lot. You haven’t had much of this during this time, so my advice is to enjoy your kids, hang out with your best girlfriends and quit taking yourself so seriously. Sheesh, lighten up, would ya?
Just because you meet someone who you think is a great guy, doesn’t mean you have to get married….again. It doesn’t even mean he’s a great guy. Really wished I could have had this piece of information back then. Listen to your heart when something just doesn’t add up.
When you adopt your son with husband #2, you will realize that God sent that little boy especially for you. How else could you love a child so much and you not actually birth him. This was the great part of marriage #2.
There is a WONDERFUL guy waiting for you. (and it’s not husband #2) Although you won’t get to meet him for about another 8 years, HOLD OUT because he’s worth it. There again….Really wished I could have had this piece of information back then.
Go back to school. Go back now, doing it in 10 years is tough. I think maybe my brain is getting to old.
As your oldest daughter turns 20, try not to strangle her. This may be a tough one because she is soooo going to test your patience it will not EVEN be funny. Just have to remember, you raised her and taught her right from wrong and now it’s up to her to live her life. Be there for her if she falls, skins her knee and needs you to kiss her boo boo’s. She is learning as she goes and is hell-bent on not listening to any advice. Take it from me, you will do a lot of “sitting on your hands” and praying that God zips your mouth shut.
Here is an important one…..Love Yourself. Don’t be so rough of yourself if you don’t have all the answers and don’t regret your
mistakes choices. There are no “mistakes” only life lessons. Cut yourself some slack. Remember, You are worth it!
I hope this gives comfort in knowing that you make it thru no matter the choices that you made. You may come out on the other side a little tattered and jaded but you’re still in one piece and amazing strong.
2 ex’s, 2 dogs and 3 kids later…..Total ramblings that are personal and sometimes even thought-provoking